Is “Everything in Moderation” Terrible Advice?

By Teresa Wagner, RD, LD
April 19, 2026

The key to good health is "everything in moderation"… or at least that's the phrase we've been repeatedly told. We've all seen ads that claim, “Lose 30 pounds in 30 days while still eating bread, chocolate and wine!” The message is that if you can just moderate yourself, you can lose weight and still eat and drink your favorite treats too.

But what if that moderation advice is wrong for most people?

It turns out moderation is wrong for more than half the people out there. Gretchen Rubin shared this idea on the Dishing Up Nutrition episode Mastering Our Habits. Rubin said that there are two types of people in the world: moderators and abstainers … and it's helpful to know which type you are.

What does the word moderation mean?

The literal dictionary definition of “moderation” is the quality of being moderate and avoiding extremes. It refers to the trait of avoiding excesses, acting with restraint, and maintaining balance or reasonable limits in behavior, opinions, or consumption.

Many people think that, when it comes to food, moderation means stopping at “just one” of something, like one cookie or one drink.

While moderation is held up as the ideal, it's really not possible for many people. For those people, completely abstaining and cutting out chocolate, for example, may actually be the better answer. It can be much more freeing than trying to constantly control and limit your intake.

One reason the idea of moderation has become such popular advice is because many people giving the advice — dietitians, nutritionists, personal trainers, and other healthcare professionals — are natural moderators. They can have “just one” easily because their brains are just wired a bit differently.

But for many people who are not natural moderators, having a chocolate chip cookie or a cupcake can lead to eating the entire bag or box. Which can then trigger more cravings for sugar and processed foods that last for days, sometimes months. Then months turn into years of yo-yo dieting, mental tug-of-war, guilt, and shame … you get the idea. I’m not one of those dietitians doling out "moderation in everything" advice because it doesn't work for me either. For instance, I’m just fine around sweets until I have the first bite. I don’t care much for candy, but something rich like a chocolate croissant? That’s trouble for me.

How the moderation approach can be harmful

The idea of moderation in everything is well-meaning advice, and it works for some people. However, if moderation doesn’t work for you, the implication is often that it’s your fault. If you would just practice more self-discipline, you’d be thin too. Keep practicing moderation and you’ll develop willpower. This is hurtful and unhelpful advice, and it sets many people up for failure.

If you are an abstainer, or more of an all-or-nothing person by nature, you probably can’t keep it to just one. As an extreme example, it’s like telling an alcoholic that one glass of wine is fine.

So, no, you can’t have your cake and eat it too and as you would expect, this is not popular or welcome advice for some. If we deny ourselves of these foods that are hard to be moderate with, it’s often seen as punishment or as being too restrictive. Rubin, who is an abstainer, cited friends and family telling her she was “too rigid” in her eating rules. Perhaps you’ve experienced some version of that from people around you too.

Even the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics (AND) — the largest organization of food and nutrition professionals — warns about the negative effect of excluding food groups or labeling foods as “bad,” saying that it can lead to a poor relationship with food, overeating, or even eating disorders.

Many dietitians are still trained in “everything in moderation,” calories in/calories out, and the laughable “balance what you eat & drink with what you do” brought to you by Coca-Cola. Because we all have time for hours of exercise after we eat a Big Mac combo meal.

Are you an abstainer or a moderator?

So how can this help you? Answer these three questions to determine which approach may work better for you:

• Have you ever found yourself at the bottom of a bag of triple mix gourmet popcorn (or cookies, chips, etc.) feeling sick but still unable to stop?

• Have you ever felt panicky about the idea of never having ice cream or bread again when committing to a healthier way of eating?

• Have you ever bought a bar of chocolate, planning to have just one piece a day—only to think about it nonstop until you finally eat the whole thing just to get it out of your head and house?

If you answered yes to any of these, abstinence may be the better approach. If not, moderation may work for you. Again, for many people, abstinence creates freedom—and making this thought shift can be incredibly powerful, finally giving you the clarity and control needed to reach your health and weight‑loss goals.

If moderation is difficult, you may be an abstainer

At Nutritional Weight & Wellness, we teach that the quality of the food we eat is the most important aspect of good health. And with good health often comes weight management. “Diets” in general have low success rates, somewhere around 10%. Research has found that the most successful approaches are often those that limit options and focus on quality, versus those that focus on portion control and moderation.

Why? In short, because food communicates with your brain and body. When we eat hyperpalatable foods and drinks, the reward center in the brain lights up, making it incredibly hard to stop eating. It’s not a lack of willpower. It’s biology working against you. Those foods were intentionally created to make “just one” nearly impossible because of the way they affect that reward center. That leads you to eat more, buy more, eat more, buy more … and the cycle continues.

Think about it like this: when is the last time you said, “At parties, when green beans are on the table, I just can’t stop snacking on them,” or “At night, when my family is in bed, I sneak into the kitchen and eat green beans straight out of the bag. I don’t even need to warm them up”? My guess is those scenarios have never happened to you. But what if we swapped green beans for sugary cereal, chips and salsa, or bite-sized candy bars? Green beans were designed by nature. The others were engineered by scientists in a lab to hijack your brain.

The abstinence approach

Here’s how I like to break down the abstinence approach for myself, for my nutrition clients, and maybe for you if this is all sounding a little too familiar.

REMOVE

Keep your home as free of trigger foods as possible. When they’re not around, it’s much easier to avoid them and move past temptation. This can be challenging if you live with others, but as you grow stronger in abstaining, you may eventually find that you can bring certain foods back into your home without the same pull.

PROTECT

Keep your blood sugar balanced to help prevent cravings and overeating. Long gaps between meals- or the rebound drops in blood sugar that can follow high‑carbohydrate snacks or meals without adequate protein or fat (common in the standard American diet)—can increase vulnerability to processed and sugary foods.

To stabilize blood sugar:

• Pair carbohydrates with protein and fat.

• Example snacks: an apple with natural peanut butter or a beef stick.

• For lunch, add protein — palm-sized portion (or more) — and healthy fats like avocado, dry-roasted seeds, or olives to your salad.

• Choose olive oil- or avocado oil-based dressings instead of low-fat, sugary ones.

Timing matters too:

• Eat every 3 to 4 hours, such as breakfast at 8:00 a.m., lunch at 12:00 p.m., a snack at 3:00 p.m., and dinner at 6:30 or 7:00 p.m.

• It often takes about three days of balanced eating to reduce strong cravings, and weeks to months to fully regain control.

NOURISH

Abstainers often struggle with moderation because even a small amount of a trigger food can lead to excessive eating. By removing these foods entirely, abstainers can avoid temptation and the cycle of cravings. Focusing on nourishing, balanced meals helps stabilize blood sugar and reduce urges, making it easier to maintain control and build a healthier relationship with food.

• Choose nutrient-dense foods. Fill your plate with vitamin- and mineral-rich, fiber-packed, water-filled vegetables like broccoli, greens, Brussels sprouts, and cucumber.

• Include moderate amounts of higher-carb starchy vegetables such as sweet potatoes, winter squash, or legumes.

• For fruits or grains, stick to about 1/2 cup per meal or snack.

• Add adequate protein — a palm-sized portion (or more) for meals and half a palm for snacks.

• Add fat too. Fat is satisfying and helps stabilize blood sugar. Opt for natural fats like avocado, olives, olive oil, nuts, seeds, butter, ghee, and coconut oil.

• Avoid highly processed fats such as refined vegetable and seed oils like soybean, corn, canola, and cottonseed oils.

PLAN

For abstainers, this matters because occasional indulgences can trigger a cycle of cravings and loss of control. Abstaining doesn’t necessarily mean never enjoying trigger foods. It means planning to include them thoughtfully and sparingly.

Here are strategies to manage occasional indulgences:

• Choose the right moment: Save treats like ice cream for special times, such as a hot day, and enjoy them slowly somewhere you like. Choose a place that serves really great, high-quality ice cream so you can fully savor the experience. Take your time to appreciate the flavors and textures, making the moment feel special and intentional. Once you’ve finished, return to your familiar “safe” environment where you feel in control and comfortable. This can help create a clear boundary between indulgence and everyday habits.

• Limit portions: For foods like birthday cake, keep it to special occasions with close family or friends. Buy or bake only enough for the event so you’re not left with tempting leftovers.

• Avoid trigger situations: At social gatherings, position yourself away from tempting foods. Fill your plate with proteins, healthy fats, and vegetables, and skip trigger foods altogether. Alcohol can lower inhibitions, so be extra cautious. Shift your attention to the people you’re with and the reason you’re gathering, rather than the food.

• Prepare for cravings: Recognize that cravings often follow indulgences. Decide whether the upcoming challenge is worth it, and plan your food environment accordingly so it’s easier to get back on track.

By planning thoughtfully, abstainers can sometimes enjoy occasional treats without losing control or triggering prolonged cravings.

REGROUP

For abstainers, regrouping after a slip-up is essential. It’s not just about starting a plan — it’s about what you do after you stray that really counts. People who think in all-or-nothing terms often think, “I messed up so I might as well eat all the things I've been avoiding.” That mindset makes it harder to get back on track.

How to regroup successfully:

• Prepare ahead: Before you allow yourself an exception, stock your fridge and pantry with balanced, nourishing foods. That makes it easier to choose well afterward.

• Act quickly: Start regrouping at your very next meal or snack. Don’t wait until tomorrow or Monday.

• Be realistic: Success doesn’t require perfection. What matters is how you respond when things don’t go as planned—and your willingness to return to consistent effort, again and again.

• Give it time: Aim for about three days of balanced eating to regain control and reduce cravings.

Remember, what you do after a slip-up can make all the difference between success and failure.

Finally, this idea of abstaining is not about simply eating fewer calories. Instead, it represents a lifestyle change that can support people who have struggled with diets that leave them feeling like failures. While it can be challenging, sometimes addressing other health issues or nutrient deficiencies is also necessary alongside this approach.

Other Related Resources:

Read: Do Weight Loss Pills Work?

Listen: Self Care Habits for Weight Loss

Read: How Food Affects Stress and Anxiety

 

 

Resources

1. Eric W Manheimner et al., “Paleolithic Nutrition for Metabolism Syndrome: Systematic Review and Meta-analysis,” American Journal of Clinical Nutrition 102, no. 4 (October 2015): 92-32 www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4588744
2. Brittanie Chester et al., “The Effects of Popular Diets on Type 2 Diabetes Management,” Diabetes Metabolism Research and Reviews (May 23, 2019) www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/31121637